Sunday, May 23, 2010

From a Blog Recommendation to Sharing My Heart

Whoa!

There is a blog world out there!  Understatement!

By following a rabbit trail one day, I found a very good source for more rabbit trails - more directions in this blog maze.

If you go to this (group) blog on a day when you might have time to meet some new ladies - wow - there are incredible stories there.  I like to go to the featured writer's site and then first read the "About".  They all have an "about" and some with stories which cause me to gasp.    Some of the things people experience, and I mean, in this case, believers, (but of course nonbelievers do, too) and then they write how they live out these broken lives in God's restoration and sanctification.

I understand that you know and I know - we both know - that this can eat up way too much time.  But still - I like to think of it as reading several short stories instead of a novel.

Also - these ladies on this site - well - they are gifted writers and a lot of them great photographers - most of them in the young category - but a few moving into my age bracket (58 until July when I move up a digit), most of them with small children - but their blogs have so many ads and links on them, meaning, it's such a popular blog that it's good marketing strategy to have an ad on this lady's blog.  A lot of the ads are for charitable causes because due to each lady's particular trial which she's experienced, it's opened up an avenue to help others out of her brokenness.

Okay - so it leaves me thinking.

Well, it leaves me saying, again, no...praying again and saying to God -

"I'll do what you want me to do.  I'm yours.  Use me how You will.  Where I'm apathetic, awaken me, stir me, create passion - make me hot, not lukewarm and please not cold - although He says he prefers cold to that sickening lukewarm.  But I want to be a flame - bright - for Him - but it often feels like I'm a tiny ember.  Even though I don't want to, I'll leave my comfort zone - I will - It's not in the wanting to, it's in the willing to.  I want to let go of my idols - I want to move them out - of my heart as having a place on my worship table.  Change my heart, change my mind, change my attitude.  Open my eyes to see the way You see - invade me, invade my world, my space - that's what I continue to pray.  Reveal my sin - what do I not see in myself?  Bring me to repentance."

It doesn't seem like I touch lives at all.  It doesn't seem like I give much of myself.  and I don't want to do that just for the activity of it.  Just for the good feeling of doing a good thing.  I want to do what He calls me to do.  So it's in the trusting Him to complete the work He began in me in March of 1968.  Really I was written in His book before the beginning of time - but he breathed eternal life into me in 1968.  I'm His business.  I'm not my business, except to continually place myself at His feet - saying yes, whatever. I'm Yours. and to eat the food He's provided - His word - and to drink His water of Life.  And to embrace  whomever and whatever He places in my life - as a gift.  Whether it's sandpaper or silk.  Yes?  Am I right?

Because - did you read that other post about Psalm 36?

I take refuge in the shadow of His wings.
I feast on the abundance of His house.
And He gives me drink from the river of His delights.

That's what I want.  I don't know what all that involves, but there's no other course to take.

It has to be Him.

3 comments:

LB said...

obviously I know you didn't write this so that I would get on her and "praise you," but I did want to say that though it seems God hasn't "called you to much," but another generation is learning to love Jesus, and you certainly had a hand in that. I think about if we could see the whole span of time--all the generations--and how very important it is that none of those generations "drop the ball." Anyway...I think you know what I am trying to say. Good post, and I understand all those feelings!!

joy said...

thank you and you have GREATLY encouraged me through this blo9g, through scattered conversations thoughout his past year and i am inspired and motivated in my walk with Jesus by the words of this blog. a lot of women at your age are complacent, ready to just continue the same ole same ole...so i am glad to hear your heart in this! it reminds me of the word in psalm 92
12 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
13 planted in the house of the LORD,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.
14 They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,
15 proclaiming, "The LORD is upright;
he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him."

thegypsymama said...

These are such great words, "I'm His business. I'm not my business, except to continually place myself at His feet - saying yes, whatever." - Yes - I want to be like that too. I need to remind myself on a daily basis that I'm not my business. Such a good heart challenge. Thank you for the encouraging reminder!

~Lisa-Jo (in courage)