Monday, December 29, 2008

Starting Over

Okay - here's what I'm going to do - (which is amusing that I am typing this - as if there's this audience of people waiting on the edge to find out what I plan to do next with my post regarding my "past").

Anyway - I've just skimmed through my diary entries - They are so sparse in January and February to almost nothing the following months - so - I'm going to begin again - start over in the fifth grade when I received the diary as a Christmas Present. I was still all child. Not a hint of hormones - had not a clue that I would ever be any different. I did like boys a whole lot. A lot. I did in the first grade - I remember very real tingly feelings over the really "handsome" ones. I suppose that starts from day one, girls and boys liking each other - Anyway, I bring all of this up because my diary will mention a boyfriend I had in the fifth grade. His name was David Whatley. He was in the fourth grade and was the son of our minister. His family moved at the end of that year, and I remember feeling relieved because I had lost interest in him and didn't know how to handle that. Isn't that funny? My friend, Jane White, had a boyfriend, Jimmy Hart - he lived on our street - so, it was all a big deal. Jane was a grade below me, and Jimmy was actually in my class at school. Miss McMillan was my teacher. She was rather old and had also been my mother's school teacher. Her brother was Mr. Paul McMillan, whom we called Mr. Mac. They were both very "old school" disciplinarians. Neither one was married and lived in a small house across the street from the school. I was scared of both of them. I was a very very very obedient student and did nothing to try to break any rules. Talking was always a problem for me, so I often had to be shushed. Miss McMillan had a very thick paddle she threatened everyone with. Of course I never even got close to having it used on me. But certain boys did. Isn't that horrible? Today she'd be in jail for the licks she gave some of those boys. Lawsuits out the roof would be all over her. And if anyone was sent to Mr. Mac! Oh my gosh. I don't even like to think about it. Now that I'm an adult I think about them and I do believe they had a few issues about being single. They were rigid beyond all rigid and I was always liked by my teachers, but I don't think Miss McMillan liked me. It would seem that she looked for reasons to get mad at me, but my inner constitution was quite stable and I didn't take it to heart. I had a sense that she was wrong. But I didn't go home whining to Mother and Daddy about it. I just dealt with it. That happened to be a year when a lot of the little boys liked me - in the fifth grade - imagine that! - and there were class votes for this or that, which the boys aggressively raised their hands voting for me - and Miss McMillan made enough comments that I could tell she somehow thought of the whole thing as immoral - that I attracted those little boys - In those days if the little boys understood perverse things, they never said anything that I heard - everyone seemed the same amount of innocent and naive. Even in the 6th grade. How sad that our culture has so drastically changed. Innocence is often stolen.

Okay - so here are the first diary entries in the fifth grade. I received it on Christmas Morning, but began filling in the daily pages out of memory. So entries actually begin before Christmas Day.
Here I am, back in fifth grade:

Friday December 22, 1961: Dear Diary, Today I went to my grandmother's in Troy. I had a nice time.
Saturday, December 23, 1961: Dear Diary, Today I went caroling then we went over to the preacher's house for refreshments. Rev. Whatley.
Sunday, December 24, 1961: Dear Diary, Today my boyfriend David Whatley came over. So did Rachel Price, my cousin. We had fun. (in the entry I drew a heart with an arrow through it)
Monday December 25, 1961: Dear Diary, Today I got a doll, this diary, a barbie doll case. Bedroom shoes, gloves, stuffed dogs, socks, pajama dog, & robe.
Tuesday December 26, 1961: Dear Diary, Today I played with my new toys. I also played with my friends down the street. Jane and Nancy White, and Jimmy and Becky Hart, Johnny Blackmon and Gene Glass.
Wednesday December 27, 1961: Dear Diary, Today we went to Troy, when we got back Mother and Daddy went to a party. Susan Ashcraft stayed with us. (Mary Ann & Me)
Thursday December 28, 1961: Dear Diary, Today I played with my friend Jeannie Knox and my cousin Rachel.
Friday December 29, 1961: Dear Diary, Today I played with my friends Jane and Nancy White, Jeannie Knox Livings, & Mary Ann Hartley.
Saturday December 30, 1961: Dear Diary, Today my friend Jeannie B. Price, came over, we played with Jane & Nancy White & Mary Ann Hartley
Sunday December 31, 1961: Dear Diary Jeannie B. & Susan Price spent the night with us. We let the New Year come by staying up till 12:00.
There are so many stories to go with some of these entries - but I can't stay at the computer any longer. Perhaps I'll comment in another post later in the day.

No comments: