As a child I was frightened of loud noises.
And what I didn't understand.
Imagine an afternoon - possibly Sunday afternoon - we have a kite. Or...Daddy has a kite and is preparing to fly it. Mother's sister, Florence, and her family are at our house. I think that's who I see in the memory. I think I see my uncle Waynard. I was begging Daddy not to fly the kite. I knew it would make a loud noise. He told me it would make no noise at all. I didn't think Daddy was a liar - I just didn't believe him. Maybe I thought his idea of noise and my idea of noise were two different perceptions. I don't know. I was absolutely panicked - and I do know that Daddy was beginning to lose patience with me and so was Mother. They were actually ignoring me. So the image I see in this memory now is the whole group out in the field behind our house and I am running to our screen porch on the front of our house to crouch in the corner with ears stopped up. I knew the Kite was about to be launched. I carefully waited - released my fingers a bit from my ears - no noise. I slowly went out and peeked around the house. They were actually flying the kite and there was no noise. And I thought, "well, Daddy was right. It makes no noise."
I can't take you into my brain to see my images - but again - this house and the screened porch where I hid in the corner.
and zoom in with this picture and behind 2 1/2 year old me, sitting in Baby Sister's lap, or is that Tommy, is the corner where I hid.
It's such a vivid imagine in my brain, me crouching there with ears stopped up.
I probably was about this age, 4, (shown in picture below) when I didn't believe Daddy and Mother, that kites made no noise.
(With my friend down the street, Bobby Small. I am sporting bandaids as bracelets. Weird. This was taken on the day Mary Ann and Bobby's sister, Sidney, started first grade. Bobby and I were pals.)
And, have you read Laura Beth's recent post?
She showed the picture of Ada's tricycle which she is getting for her 3rd birthday.
I hope she enjoys hers as much as I enjoyed mine. I loved my tricycle, which had actually been Mary Ann's first. Mine was a life of hand-me-downs but I didn't mind. Looked forward to them.
In this picture I was 5.
But had been riding the tricycle for several years....well, two years. But when you're 5, two years seems like several years, doesn't it?
Now why did I write all of that?
Well, I know why I mentioned the tricycles - because I saw the picture of Ada's new tricycle and it stirred up old memories. But the kite memory came to my mind today - when I was walking.
I actually walked today by myself for one hour. I never do that. I don't even enjoy doing that by myself until today. I wanted to do it. I think God just did a thing in my head and heart and I walked and wanted to and want to again. So I will, tomorrow.
Naturally while walking I was praying and thinking, with God, and my thoughts were on things I fear due to lack of trust in Him - so of course the kite story and how I needlessly doubted Daddy on that day regarding the kite. It's a great object lesson for me, personally. We fear things in life we don't understand. Don't we?
Another thing I used to fear. Fire Trucks. I didn't know their purpose. No adult in my life knew that I thought fire trucks were going to houses to set them on fire. One evening, probably shortly after we moved into our house, because in this memory I am small enough for Daddy to carry me more like a toddler than an older little girl. I was 2 1/2 when we moved into our house. So - we heard the sirens - and in those days, windows opened, adults had a tendency to go outside and try to figure out where the fire was. I must have leapt into Daddy's arms as he started out - probably because I was scared. There I was, being held by him and the night sounds being disturbed by the siren in the distance. I could see him trying to hear the direction and I broke the silence with this statement on what I hoped. I said, "I hope it's not our house". To which he answered, "Well, sweetie, it's not." and I asked how he knew and of course the obvious answer was, "because our house isn't on fire". And that's when I told him what I thought fire trucks did and of course he assured me they didn't - and explained that they were equipped with hoses and stuff to put out the fire. I did believe him on this one and was greatly relieved. Good to get that cleared up.
We fear things we don't understand.
Some things we can't understand this side of heaven, but still, there's the trusting the love and mercy of God. Isn't there?
So - that's today's post.