The Help and What I've Been Doing Since My Last Post 9 Days Ago

Charlie and I did go see The Help - I really, really liked it.  I had read the book already because I knew it would be so much better than the movie and I definitely wanted to see the movie - but didn't want the movie to ruin the book for me.  I have read lots of articles about the author - who is from Jackson, MS.

I am 60 - so I lived through all of that.  I have my own stories from my very white perspective and wish so much we hadn't all been so blind.  Anyone of us in my age bracket lived through the reality of that - It was and continues to be shocking to me.  I was born in 1951 and so of course in 1961 I was only 10.

The book is good and trumps the movie.  Still, the movie is so good, too.  I watched it with Mike and Mary Bratton, and Charlie and none of them had read the book.  I was curious to get their reaction.  They liked it a lot.

There's a lady in south Alabama whom I know.  I knew her as a child when she would help Mother with Mary Ann and me.  I LOVED her.  She was just a very young teenager when she would baby sit us.  I thought she was beautiful and had a magical energy.  I never forgot her.  I never knew her last name until our paths crossed again when I was 50.  Mary Ann knew she'd moved back to Evergreen and she and her sister were willing to help us care for Mom after Mother's near fatal stomach event which had put her in intensive care.  I remember my strong emotional reaction when I saw her again.  I was maybe 4 or 5 the last time I'd seen her.  I cried and was trembling.  She had no idea that she'd meant that much to me.  She still had that same energy and was still beautiful and smart and bright and laughed so much.  Here we were adults and able to share stories - mostly hers with Mary Ann and me listening.  Amazing to get her perspective, with no bitterness, on life in Evergreen, AL during all the days of segregation and then life during the time of the civil rights movement.  We had lived in the deepest of the deep south, she on the black side, Mary Ann and I on the white side.  She had loved Mother.  Even before this movie and this book, I've wanted to make some questions for an interview with her - and share it on this blog.

I'm going to do it one of these days.  She's a great story teller.  She has amazing stories!!  She and her sister together have amazing stories.

What I've been doing since the last post - Last week - getting my house and yard in order to prepare for Ada and John being with me, here at my house, for a week - while Laura Beth and Scott prepare to move into their cute rental house.

So - pictures from yesterday.  (I met LB and Scott in Adairsville.  Mary Bratton rode with me - the drive over was certainly different than the drive home.  On the way back to Scottsboro we had tired John and chatty, excited Ada in the back seat.  Mary saw my grandparenting world in full swing.)

Kites, Tricycles, Firetrucks, Good Daddies and a Great God

Here's a story.

As a child I was frightened of loud noises.

And what I didn't understand.

Imagine an afternoon - possibly Sunday afternoon - we have a kite.  Or...Daddy has a kite and is preparing to fly it.  Mother's sister, Florence, and her family are at our house.  I think that's who I see in the memory.  I think I see my uncle Waynard.  I was begging Daddy not to fly the kite.  I knew it would make a loud noise.  He told me it would make no noise at all.  I didn't think Daddy was a liar - I just didn't believe him.  Maybe I thought his idea of noise and my idea of noise were two different perceptions.  I don't know.  I was absolutely panicked - and I do know that Daddy was beginning to lose patience with me and so was Mother.  They were actually ignoring me.  So the image I see in this memory now is the whole group out in the field behind our house and I am running to our screen porch on the front of our house to crouch in the corner with ears stopped up.  I knew the Kite was about to be launched.  I carefully waited - released my fingers a bit from my ears - no noise.  I slowly went out and peeked around the house.  They were actually flying the kite and there was no noise.  And I thought, "well, Daddy was right.  It makes no noise."

I can't take you into my brain to see my images - but again - this house and the screened porch where I hid in the corner.

and zoom in with this picture and behind 2 1/2 year old me, sitting in Baby Sister's lap, or is that Tommy, is the corner where I hid.

It's such a vivid imagine in my brain, me crouching there with ears stopped up.

I probably was about this age, 4, (shown in picture below) when I didn't believe Daddy and Mother, that kites made no noise.  

(With my friend down the street, Bobby Small.  I am sporting bandaids as bracelets. Weird. This was taken on the day Mary Ann and Bobby's sister, Sidney, started first grade.  Bobby and I were pals.)

And, have you read Laura Beth's recent post?

She showed the picture of Ada's tricycle which she is getting for her 3rd birthday.

I hope she enjoys hers as much as I enjoyed mine.  I loved my tricycle, which had actually been Mary Ann's first.  Mine was a life of hand-me-downs but I didn't mind. Looked forward to them. 

In this picture I was 5.

But had been riding the tricycle for several years....well, two years.  But when you're 5, two years seems like several years, doesn't it?

Ada's Tricyle

Now why did I write all of that?

Well, I know why I mentioned the tricycles - because I saw the picture of Ada's new tricycle and it stirred up old memories.  But the kite memory came to my mind today - when I was walking.  

I actually walked today by myself for one hour.  I never do that.  I don't even enjoy doing that by myself until today.  I wanted to do it.  I think God just did a thing in my head and heart and I walked and wanted to and want to again.  So I will, tomorrow.

Naturally while walking I was praying and thinking, with God, and my thoughts were on things I fear due to lack of trust in Him - so of course the kite story and how I needlessly doubted Daddy on that day regarding the kite.  It's a great object lesson for me, personally.  We fear things in life we don't understand.  Don't we?

Another thing I used to fear.  Fire Trucks.  I didn't know their purpose.  No adult in my life knew that I thought fire trucks were going to houses to set them on fire.  One evening, probably shortly after we moved into our house, because in this memory I am small enough for Daddy to carry me more like a toddler than an older little girl.  I was 2 1/2 when we moved into our house.  So - we heard the sirens - and in those days, windows opened, adults had a tendency to go outside and try to figure out where the fire was.  I must have leapt into Daddy's arms as he started out - probably because I was scared.  There I was, being held by him and the night sounds being disturbed by the siren in the distance.  I could see him trying to hear the direction and I broke the silence with this statement on what I hoped.  I said, "I hope it's not our house".  To which he answered, "Well, sweetie, it's not."  and I asked how he knew and of course the obvious answer was, "because our house isn't on fire".  And that's when I told him what I thought fire trucks did and of course he assured me they didn't - and explained that they were equipped with hoses and stuff to put out the fire.  I did believe him on this one and was greatly relieved.  Good to get that cleared up.  

We fear things we don't understand.  

Some things we can't understand this side of heaven, but still, there's the trusting the love and mercy of God.  Isn't there?

So - that's today's post.

Back to 2010 and Scottsboro and some pictures from Italy

I have to stick my head back in 2010 for some fresh air.

All those black and whites and old letters - they inspire me - they're my roots - but I have to come back to this place all along.

I've been out in my yard on this very hot Friday - sweating like all get out - but I like it.  I love it, in fact.

I'll come in all along and inside have been exchanging emails with my friend, Val Carrier...and also, Mary Ann, regarding old family letters.  Val has been showing me her pictures of Florence, Italy.  She traveled with our mutual friend, Sarah Stoner Dodd, to Florence a couple or more years ago.

She told me, at the time, that she was going to Florence with Sarah.  Guess what I thought?  I thought she meant Florence, Alabama!  Seriously.  I didn't question her - just wondered why they were going there and where they would stay - but I did think they could swing by and pay me a visit.  Fortunately I began to think about it and it came into my brain like a light.  FLORENCE, ITALY...of course.

Recently in Sunday School - M Ferry was subbing for Charlie and he opened with this question - it really did have to do with where we were in the Old Testament.  He asked all of us, if we could move anywhere in the world - where would we pick.  Okay, I figured saying Evergreen, Alabama wasn't what he was looking for, so I didn't say that.  People were saying places - nice places - exciting - I couldn't think of anyplace I wanted to move to.  The largest city I could come up with was Birmingham, AL.  Mike said that didn't count.  Then I thought of a place - I had to first ask, "Is Tuscany a place or an interior design style or a type of food?"  chuckle, chuckle - then they said place and I named it.  I had images in my mind of Tuscany - steep narrow streets - houses really close to each other.  White Sun washed stucco walls - red rooftops.  In my mind.  I mouthed something to someone across the room, without saying it out loud, "and good wine".

Guess what?  In all that emailing today, Val sent me pictures from Tuscany.  It is a place, a region, and my friend has been there and her pictures are beautiful.  Just look.

She said that this man is sitting under an olive tree.

And this is Sarah and Val - she sent me this, too.

They're not in Tuscany here.  They might be at a lake in Alabama - like Lake Martin.

Not sure.

Sarah was my first roommate at Auburn, when I transferred my Junior Year.

Val and I were in buds in high school.

And this is Martha who they also see a good bit.

Martha and I were in high school together, too.

Martha and I have always known each other, I think.

...and Martha married my cousin, John.

Here is Mary, Martha's sister - she lives in Dothan with her husband, Pat, who is also from Evergreen.

Fun story which Martha and I enjoy recalling from time to time.

My mother and Martha's mother were pregnant with each of us at about the same time.

I was born in July of 51, and 3 months later Martha was born in October of 51.

A bit later, Mother was visiting with Addie(Martha's mom) and remarked to her,

"Addie, aren't you glad we're not pregnant?"  

to which Addie replied,

"But I am."

WOW!  and that is Mary up there, Martha's sister.  They are very close in age.  SMILE.

I joke about this - but.....  I introduced 2 of my college roommates to Val - Sarah, above, and Mary Emily Heard Mulloy.  Each of them lived in Birmingham for a bit and I had this friend Val who was good to befriend them since they were new in the city.  That was when we were all very very young - as in fresh out of college.    This is the way it goes...I introduce a friend to Val and then they like her better than they like me.  Go figure!  :-)

So - Mary Emily is no longer in B'ham although she was for a year, last year.  She has lived all over as a missionary.  She is so fun and so dear and so indwelled by Him.  Well, so are the others.  I love what God has done in their lives and they bless my heart - but I don't get to see them much.  It's just hard to get from here to there.  We're planning something soon, though.  I have to have my Birmingham fix.

Band Camp, Some More

While we're on the subject

and while my camera is away being repaired

and since I have kazillion old photos - I mean - a lot!

I might as well show anyone who read yesterday's post

what band camp looked like in Auburn, in 1955-56-57

Just a few.

First, a disclaimer:  It is often said that in posting on blogs - the writer will not be transparent about failure, about shortcomings, just about the way "it" really is - perfect mother, perfect friend, perfect grandmother - even when we're making an effort to be transparent - well - who's gonna give the whole story?  I'll tell you right now - you're gonna have to take my word for it - this blogger is so insanely ordinary and not spectacular and, and, and.....well - it's probably gonna stay pretty general.  Unless God gets specific about telling me to "air dirty laundry" - it's not that easy or wise to do - but - I'm willing to answer questions and be honest.  Got any questions?  


But this disclaimer isn't about that - what I wanted to say is - my pride really rears its very ugly head, and this could be a pun, when it comes to bad pictures.  Trouble is, most of my pictures are bad.  I don't mean I always look bad, but just, darn it, not photogenic.  The camera catches me in the weirdest faces. We all know that some people look better in pictures than they do in real life.  Well, the flip side is, and I hope hope hope this is so - that some of us look better in real life than in pictures.  If I look better in pictures than in real life - well - just don't anybody tell me.  Again - my pride - I'm not that broken yet.  I guess I am - I can handle it.  I'm getting closer to heaven everyday and I'll be gorgeous there.


Anyway - do any of us want to put up a bad photo?  Not this girl - and  the good ones are hard to find.


So - out of respect for my dear mom and dad - and for the love of their memory - I hate putting up bad pictures of them - and these old ones  - styles were really different - and - well - I've looked for the best ones.  There were a lot that weren't the best - I nixed them.


Whew!  That was a long disclaimer.  It was a whole post!

So - band camp and what life looked like there, in Auburn, when I was missing Daddy in Evergreen, AL.

Here they are practicing - and yeah - are you like me?  Do those majorettes have on bathing suits?

Next Picture, below:

My Dad is 2nd from the right. 4th from the left.

with band directors from Florala, Enterprise, Anniston and Elmore County.

Wonder what they're talking about and what each one is thinking.

Looks like the BD from Elmore County on the far right is telling something, and their eyes are on him.

But what are they thinking?

It's band camp, it's competition, it's men.

Interesting, the body language.

In the next picture:

The guy looking back, with sunglasses, is Bill Haynes.

During the season when students' parents bought them instruments, 

Bill Haynes was a fixture in our house and at the bandroom.

He worked for Art's Music Store in Montgomery.

Our car went straight to that store in downtown Montgomery during those years - when we made our pilgrimage to Montgomery via highway 31.

Bill Haynes could play the clarinet very well - which I realized in a surprised sort of way when he performed with our band during practice one day.  I thought he just sold instruments. 

Of course he was a musician.  It had never occurred to me.

More practice - again- the majorettes - Is that the earliest version of the stadium, there in the background?

Next,

The 1956-57 band - the one Daddy took to camp - when I missed him so - and all the other ones too -

until I grew too old to think he was the only love of my life.  That would probably be 1st grade, when I became aware of C. W.

And while we're on the subject of bands - below is Daddy's first band in Holly Springs, MS.

He was fresh out of Northwestern University.  December 14th, 1939 is handwritten on the back of the photo, and that is 26 year old Frank Wilkerson (Dad) on the front row, left - in the suit.

for some reason, I love this next picture.

While Daddy is still younger than I ever remember - I think it's 1947 -

I recall the lowered head - when he turned around after a performance, for a slight bow.

In the middle row, 3rd from left is my aunt, Mary.  She probably knew Daddy before Mother did.

She was still in school when Mother met "the new band director, Frank Wilkerson".

and the 1962-63 band.  I know so many of these people.

The head majorette is my cousin, Suzanne.

The one who has been in many of my recent "cousin" posts.

I suppose this is as large as any EHS band grew.

Wasn't big - but for us - in those days - it was good.

Andalusia, we knew, had a bigger band.

T.R. Miller?  I think maybe.

then the city ones - well - and we didn't' even know there was a place called Scottsboro, AL. At least, I didn't.

How can I not include my senior year?  In color!!!

I'm finally a majorette - after 2 tryouts I made it on the 3rd.

I'm on the right - third from the right, middle row.

That's it.

Wonder when they're gonna have my camera ready?  2 to 3 weeks?

Whoa - lots of delving into the past!

Back to the Future - uh, I Mean Past

If you've followed my blog, which, well, hard to imagine - but -

you might remember that Steve was gone for a week - last week - to Arizona.

Job related.  A Youth Camp.

He left on a Sunday - so, at church, Luke came running up to me distraught.

"Near, Daddy's going away on an airplane".  (sad face)

I say:  "I know Lukie, (rubbing his head), but he'll be back".

Luke says: "But I don't want him to go".

I said something to cheer him up - can't remember what - but I understood his heart.

My dad didn't go to Arizona - ever, that I can remember.  He went to band camp each summer.  In the beginning it was to Auburn University.  The earliest I can remember, I was miserable.  It was for a week and it was traumatic.  I do have a vague recollection of losing it emotionally one night and the sense of Mother being exasperated as to what to do.  I now know that she knew he was only gone for a week.  She just wanted me to go to sleep, I'm sure.


I happen to have memorabilia from that week - or one of the weeks - or some of the weeks - during his band camp.  Here are the postcards I have - they're postmarked 1953 - I was 2 and Mary Ann was 4.

and this one to Mary Ann

I also have letters which Mother wrote to Daddy that week.

No cell phones.  No cordless phones or really good calling plans.  It was expensive to call long distance - and there was no emailing - no computers.  People wrote letters.  With pen and paper.

It was one week - but families communicated with so much distance between them.

Auburn to Evergreen - both in Alabma - but it felt far away - without the Interstate - without easy travel.

This is Katy my dog - I mention her in each of the letters.

Me at the age of these letters - 

I think this is how Mary Ann looked at the age of these letters.

Dear Frank,  Your youngest daughter is so homesick for you it is pathetic - she has talked about writing you a letter all day, so I just sat down and wrote exactly what she said.

We do miss you more than ever - we're staying alone and I'm not minding it at all - Suzanne spent the night with us Sunday night, but had a headache last night and didn't stay.  I'm so tired at night and am still having pre cramp tension, I really had rather be alone than have to entertain - I don't mean Mary - I mean like with Ellen.  I'm really taking advantage of your being gone and letting the fan run all night, til about 4, really - I don't like having it on because I can't hear anything.  Incidentally, the Brittains have an air conditioner and so far she still hasn't started - I'm so glad they have an air conditioner.

Kathryn still hasn't done anything - Elliott ate supper with all the Little Leaguers last night and Kathryn asked us to eat with her and the children - she had spaghetti and we enjoyed it lots.  I hated to go and see her go to any trouble, but she insisted, said she needed company. 

By the way, at the Little Leaguers' wiener roast last night an award was presented to the best loser, winner and everything and Scott won it - The boys voted on him - Isn't that an honor?  I think it is - Be sure and tell Mary and John Law if you see them - I know they'll be thrilled.

Whaddya think of John Law's move?  I'm so glad for them - I don't know a whole lot about it, but I'm sure it's the sensible thing, or he wouldn't do it - I hate to see them leave Evergreen, but I'm glad they're doing it.  I'll bet you were surprised.  Mother told me they talked to somebody last night and you were out there - Head on!  Sister seems real happy and satisfied - I hope she stays that way.

Gotta go to the sewing circle - Josephine is here with the children - She helped me today, I feel so bum, before cramps - Tell them you can't go to camp next year - married folks need to stay home.  Love, Edith

That letter was from Mother to Daddy - and next is the letter I dictated to her to send to Daddy.  There is one envelope with the handwritten letters and it is postmarked 1957 - so it was the summer before I went into the first grade.  I had just turned 6.  Mary Ann would be 8, going into the 3rd grade.  So - I guess that is that.  That's the age.  In my memory it feels younger.  Perhaps I'm remembering different years.  I never liked when he was gone to band camp. 

Here is my letter to Daddy - in Mother's handwriting: (I repeat,the above picture is KATY, my DOG - as you read this letter, it's important to remember that)

Dear Daddy,

quote - "Josephine came to help Mother and then we ate we're dinner and then me and Mary Ann rested.  We got some new library books and then Suzanne's head start hurting and then we ate with Kathryn and then I cried cause I wanted you and nobody was spending the night with us and Katy had a BM in the back of the car and they had such a hard time cleaning it up - They got it on Mary Ann's foot - Josephine's so mean, but I really don't mean it and I love you and Jim is moving and John and Mary - Letasu got some cute shoes and Geoffrey got some cute shoes.  and are you having fun and when are you coming back, I want you to come back quick and don't make me cry - "  unquote

Elizabeth

The envelope is addressed to 

Mr. Frank Wilkerson

Music Dept. - A.P.I.

Auburn, Alabama

That's it - no zip - no numbers - just that.  Simple.

If anyone is up for it - there's one more from me and one more from Mother - 

again - dictated by me and Mother writes it.

Dear Daddy,

We went swimming today Monday afternoon - we had such a good supper.  We drinked out of whiskey glasses - did you have a good sleep?  I hope you have a good time - Do they have a television there?  Me and Susan are being so happy - Katy is still barking - we ate supper with Ella last night - we had such a good breakfast.  I met Jackie and  Bill, I went swimming with Jackie and Bill down at Binion's - Do they have a swimming pool there?  Do you go swimming if they do?  Suzanne, Rusty, Rachel and Florence went swimming too - I nearly cried last night - Love, Elizabeth

and this from Mother on the other side of the page.

Dear Frank, I won't waste your paper so I'll write on the back of Lib's letter - Isn't she funny?  We went to the pool with Avalon Ellis and her 2 children, that's who she was talking about.  We had a very uneventful time - It's getting too late to go swimming - It's been so cool since yesterday - I hope it's real cool in Auburn.

I feel real upset right now, we've just heard about a wreck that Talmadge Stuart, Connie Rigsby and Sandra Hagood had - Sandra is Dr. John Hagood's daughter and he had just given her a new ford and Connie was driving and turned over several times - Connie isn't hurt, but Talmadge has serious head injuries and had to be carried to Mobile to a brain specialist and no one has heard yet - It happened late this afternoon - The Hagood girl was hurt, too, but don't know how seriously - I hope so much that it won't be as bad as they think.

We're being brave and staying alone, we don't like it but we aren't afraid at all - The girls were so sad last night, Elizabeth said she didn't think she'd ever go to sleep, but she had no trouble - We ate supper with Mother last night, but we're planning to stay at home and try to be sort of independent - I like it better that way - We miss you so much it's not even funny - I wish it were already over - Write to us real quick - Mary Ann said she just wasn't in the mood to write tonight - 

We all love you, Edith.

I wish that I had a picture of Josephine.  Her name was Josephine Lark - and in the letter I was most definitely teasing Daddy - about her being mean.  She was anything but.  She was magical and was our babysitter from time to time.   I want to write a whole post about her.  

so - Daddy came home from camp - Steve came back to Luke from Arizona.

Luke would ask his mother how many nights they had to go to bed before his daddy came home.  They did a countdown.  

We Grew Up Together

My Cousins.  We grew up together.

 As adults we have all agreed that it was as if we had our parents, but also 3 other sets.  Below is my aunt, Florence, appearing to "shake" a bottle for her 2 month old, Rachel.  This occasion is my 2nd birthday and that is my head behind the cake.  Mary Ann, who would be 4 1/2, is standing there at the end of the table.

Mother lighting my candles.  I look confused and bewildered.

I'm guessing Mary Ann, Scott and Rusty would blow the candles out for me.

I don't look like I'm ready for that task.

September 1955

Our back yard on Williams Street.

Suzanne at the back, then Scott, Rusty, Mary Ann, and our neighbor, Sherry.

I'm to the left.  Rachel is to the right.

On that same day, these are the moms.

Florence with the towel.  (I'm guessing someone was going to either give her a perm, or cut her hair.)

That is Mother in the skirt.  A neighbor they're talking with.  Looks like Evelyn Snowden Booker to me.  Rachel is in the white shorts and Mary Ann standing on the other side of the saw horse.

I can tell that's Lucille sitting on...the ground?  A stool?

And my fifth birthday party.

I really do remember watching Mother make that cake.

It was pale blue with small silver beads.  They have a name.  Can't think of them.

That is the same cake stand used at my 2nd birthday party.  It belonged to Ella and is now on a table in my dining room.

I won't bore you, but I remember so many details about this party.

That is my grandmother, Ella to the right, in the white dress, with sunglasses.

I'm in the forefront with the parasol, kneeling with my friend, Bobby Small.

Same Party - Rusty behind my little cousin, Jim.

Scott in front of him, blowing up the balloon.

All 3, my cousins.

Same Party.

Scott to the right.

John in back on my tricycle.

Jim, again.

John is the oldest brother to Jim.

Mary Ann's birthday party.  January 16.

In the back, Rachel, John in the cowboy hat, Scott on the ground, pretending to be shot,

and Mary Ann leaning over him.

January 16, 1954.

First Birthday Party at our new house on Williams Street.

Mary Ann was Five.

My older cousin, Suzanne, seems to be arranging the group.

Her younger brother, Rusty, doesn't look pleased.

Mary Ann in the white sweater and dark dress.

Scott behind Suzanne's arm.

Go back to 1951, I'm in the stroller and Rusty is showing me a duck.

Mary Ann's 5th Birthday, again.

Suzanne, left, Scott, next.

The little boy wandering off is that same Bobby Small in the above picture at my 5th Birthday Party.

And you can see Daddy's telltale shadow of him taking the picture.

I've scanned a lot of pictures today.

These are some that include my cousins.  

The cousins not in these photos are Bert, our oldest.

and Melissa, Mary Claire, and Edward - the 3 who were not yet born, younger siblings to John and Jim.

These are a microscopic slice of what I was fed on - growing up - a sample under a slide - 

Safety, Relationships, Going Home at Night to Mother and Daddy and Mary Ann.

I know that blogs sugar coat.  I'm not faking this one.

I also know that our memories usually include the best stuff.

It's also in a child's mind's eye.  I know, too, that my personality is wired to LOVE this stuff.  

I did, and I do.