Mother and Daddy

With Pictures

Yesterday marked the 63rd anniversary of Mother and Daddy's Wedding Day.  Daddy died August 8, 1993, so they had been married 46 years when he died.

The last 3 months of Daddy's life, Mother lived with Mary Ann in Montgomery, AL while Daddy was in a nursing home there, in the final stages of Alzheimer's Disease.  Each morning Mother would drive to the nursing home around 8:00 am and would return to Mary Ann's apartment at about 5:00 ish.  She spent the whole day with him at the nursing home, every day, for 3 months.  

During that time, and I think it might have been the week before he died, I was in Montgomery for a week with Mother.  Mary Ann, a friend, and my four girls, had gone to the beach.  My girls were 12, 11, 7, and 5 at the time.  I was 42.  Daddy was 80.  Mother was 76.  Mary Ann, 44.  Montgomery is so close to Evergreen, so I talked Mother into letting me drive her down to see her sisters for the day.  She did, with reservation - not wanting to leave Daddy for even a day.  (in fact, he may have been in the hospital at that point with dehydration - because we couldn't get him to eat or drink in the nursing home - we were so glad for him to be in the hospital - just under that kind of care)  So - we did drive down for the day and had lunch at Florence's house, along with the other sisters and 2 remaining brothers in law.  

Here is a picture taken that day with the sisters sitting on Florence's hearth.  They were all being funny - always when together - especially Florence - but they all have their own humor - so much laughter always - There was a sequence of these pictures which revealed all the laughter, but in this one I caught mom with a look of distraction - I remember that day, she couldn't completely get Daddy off her mind - his being up in Montgomery without us - without her - I know that we did have to run by the nursing home, or hospital, that afternoon when we returned to M'gomery.

Mother, Florence, Mary and Lucille.  August 1993.  Now Mother and Lucille are in heaven.  Mary is in Evergreen, and Florence is living in Tallahassee with her daughter.  John Law, Mary's husband, is the only living Brother-in-law.

But, when it all began, August 3, 1947, Mother and Daddy looked like this.

I like this double exposure - accident, but I like it.

and then, some memorabilia from her Bride's Book

The wedding announcement (not an invitation)

and a page out of Mother's Bride's Book about a party held for her on July 29, 1947

Here is a picture, not of that party, but during the same time, approximately, and a similar party

with Mother on the right and the other ladies were a part of the party given for Mother in July.

Okay, I'll just tell you,

left to right

Betty Su Bozeman, Mildred Murphy, Lanelle Newton, and Mother.

Mother's friends.  I know them.

And the cover of Mother's book

And a card, in the book, from Daddy to Mother on their First Anniversary.

August 3, 1948.

So - there you are - I am incredibly grateful for the legacy I happen to have in solid marriages.  Those that stick - that have no back doors - no question marks.  No looking about with doubts and distrust and wondering.  Not without conflict - not without ordinary and plain - always needing a little jumpstarting here and there - but ever faithful to jumpstart it.  Seasons of growth, seasons of learning and being broken, and giving up of selfish wants - blending the two - learning to give, finally. 

It's a gift from God - and I don't know why.

We could just as easily have been a family with generations of "stuff" which destroys marriages - and if we were God could redeem all of that.  I don't mean to be self-righteous.  It's just a gift and with it a responsibility to pass it on and learn from it and lend to others.

For a child in that, there is incredible safety and comfort.  amazing.  I wish all children could live in that kind of peace.  Even the conflict carries with it a knowledgable hope that it will be resolved and will be better than before.

Back to 2010 and Scottsboro and some pictures from Italy

I have to stick my head back in 2010 for some fresh air.

All those black and whites and old letters - they inspire me - they're my roots - but I have to come back to this place all along.

I've been out in my yard on this very hot Friday - sweating like all get out - but I like it.  I love it, in fact.

I'll come in all along and inside have been exchanging emails with my friend, Val Carrier...and also, Mary Ann, regarding old family letters.  Val has been showing me her pictures of Florence, Italy.  She traveled with our mutual friend, Sarah Stoner Dodd, to Florence a couple or more years ago.

She told me, at the time, that she was going to Florence with Sarah.  Guess what I thought?  I thought she meant Florence, Alabama!  Seriously.  I didn't question her - just wondered why they were going there and where they would stay - but I did think they could swing by and pay me a visit.  Fortunately I began to think about it and it came into my brain like a light.  FLORENCE, ITALY...of course.

Recently in Sunday School - M Ferry was subbing for Charlie and he opened with this question - it really did have to do with where we were in the Old Testament.  He asked all of us, if we could move anywhere in the world - where would we pick.  Okay, I figured saying Evergreen, Alabama wasn't what he was looking for, so I didn't say that.  People were saying places - nice places - exciting - I couldn't think of anyplace I wanted to move to.  The largest city I could come up with was Birmingham, AL.  Mike said that didn't count.  Then I thought of a place - I had to first ask, "Is Tuscany a place or an interior design style or a type of food?"  chuckle, chuckle - then they said place and I named it.  I had images in my mind of Tuscany - steep narrow streets - houses really close to each other.  White Sun washed stucco walls - red rooftops.  In my mind.  I mouthed something to someone across the room, without saying it out loud, "and good wine".

Guess what?  In all that emailing today, Val sent me pictures from Tuscany.  It is a place, a region, and my friend has been there and her pictures are beautiful.  Just look.

She said that this man is sitting under an olive tree.

And this is Sarah and Val - she sent me this, too.

They're not in Tuscany here.  They might be at a lake in Alabama - like Lake Martin.

Not sure.

Sarah was my first roommate at Auburn, when I transferred my Junior Year.

Val and I were in buds in high school.

And this is Martha who they also see a good bit.

Martha and I were in high school together, too.

Martha and I have always known each other, I think.

...and Martha married my cousin, John.

Here is Mary, Martha's sister - she lives in Dothan with her husband, Pat, who is also from Evergreen.

Fun story which Martha and I enjoy recalling from time to time.

My mother and Martha's mother were pregnant with each of us at about the same time.

I was born in July of 51, and 3 months later Martha was born in October of 51.

A bit later, Mother was visiting with Addie(Martha's mom) and remarked to her,

"Addie, aren't you glad we're not pregnant?"  

to which Addie replied,

"But I am."

WOW!  and that is Mary up there, Martha's sister.  They are very close in age.  SMILE.

I joke about this - but.....  I introduced 2 of my college roommates to Val - Sarah, above, and Mary Emily Heard Mulloy.  Each of them lived in Birmingham for a bit and I had this friend Val who was good to befriend them since they were new in the city.  That was when we were all very very young - as in fresh out of college.    This is the way it goes...I introduce a friend to Val and then they like her better than they like me.  Go figure!  :-)

So - Mary Emily is no longer in B'ham although she was for a year, last year.  She has lived all over as a missionary.  She is so fun and so dear and so indwelled by Him.  Well, so are the others.  I love what God has done in their lives and they bless my heart - but I don't get to see them much.  It's just hard to get from here to there.  We're planning something soon, though.  I have to have my Birmingham fix.

Back to the Future - uh, I Mean Past

If you've followed my blog, which, well, hard to imagine - but -

you might remember that Steve was gone for a week - last week - to Arizona.

Job related.  A Youth Camp.

He left on a Sunday - so, at church, Luke came running up to me distraught.

"Near, Daddy's going away on an airplane".  (sad face)

I say:  "I know Lukie, (rubbing his head), but he'll be back".

Luke says: "But I don't want him to go".

I said something to cheer him up - can't remember what - but I understood his heart.

My dad didn't go to Arizona - ever, that I can remember.  He went to band camp each summer.  In the beginning it was to Auburn University.  The earliest I can remember, I was miserable.  It was for a week and it was traumatic.  I do have a vague recollection of losing it emotionally one night and the sense of Mother being exasperated as to what to do.  I now know that she knew he was only gone for a week.  She just wanted me to go to sleep, I'm sure.


I happen to have memorabilia from that week - or one of the weeks - or some of the weeks - during his band camp.  Here are the postcards I have - they're postmarked 1953 - I was 2 and Mary Ann was 4.

and this one to Mary Ann

I also have letters which Mother wrote to Daddy that week.

No cell phones.  No cordless phones or really good calling plans.  It was expensive to call long distance - and there was no emailing - no computers.  People wrote letters.  With pen and paper.

It was one week - but families communicated with so much distance between them.

Auburn to Evergreen - both in Alabma - but it felt far away - without the Interstate - without easy travel.

This is Katy my dog - I mention her in each of the letters.

Me at the age of these letters - 

I think this is how Mary Ann looked at the age of these letters.

Dear Frank,  Your youngest daughter is so homesick for you it is pathetic - she has talked about writing you a letter all day, so I just sat down and wrote exactly what she said.

We do miss you more than ever - we're staying alone and I'm not minding it at all - Suzanne spent the night with us Sunday night, but had a headache last night and didn't stay.  I'm so tired at night and am still having pre cramp tension, I really had rather be alone than have to entertain - I don't mean Mary - I mean like with Ellen.  I'm really taking advantage of your being gone and letting the fan run all night, til about 4, really - I don't like having it on because I can't hear anything.  Incidentally, the Brittains have an air conditioner and so far she still hasn't started - I'm so glad they have an air conditioner.

Kathryn still hasn't done anything - Elliott ate supper with all the Little Leaguers last night and Kathryn asked us to eat with her and the children - she had spaghetti and we enjoyed it lots.  I hated to go and see her go to any trouble, but she insisted, said she needed company. 

By the way, at the Little Leaguers' wiener roast last night an award was presented to the best loser, winner and everything and Scott won it - The boys voted on him - Isn't that an honor?  I think it is - Be sure and tell Mary and John Law if you see them - I know they'll be thrilled.

Whaddya think of John Law's move?  I'm so glad for them - I don't know a whole lot about it, but I'm sure it's the sensible thing, or he wouldn't do it - I hate to see them leave Evergreen, but I'm glad they're doing it.  I'll bet you were surprised.  Mother told me they talked to somebody last night and you were out there - Head on!  Sister seems real happy and satisfied - I hope she stays that way.

Gotta go to the sewing circle - Josephine is here with the children - She helped me today, I feel so bum, before cramps - Tell them you can't go to camp next year - married folks need to stay home.  Love, Edith

That letter was from Mother to Daddy - and next is the letter I dictated to her to send to Daddy.  There is one envelope with the handwritten letters and it is postmarked 1957 - so it was the summer before I went into the first grade.  I had just turned 6.  Mary Ann would be 8, going into the 3rd grade.  So - I guess that is that.  That's the age.  In my memory it feels younger.  Perhaps I'm remembering different years.  I never liked when he was gone to band camp. 

Here is my letter to Daddy - in Mother's handwriting: (I repeat,the above picture is KATY, my DOG - as you read this letter, it's important to remember that)

Dear Daddy,

quote - "Josephine came to help Mother and then we ate we're dinner and then me and Mary Ann rested.  We got some new library books and then Suzanne's head start hurting and then we ate with Kathryn and then I cried cause I wanted you and nobody was spending the night with us and Katy had a BM in the back of the car and they had such a hard time cleaning it up - They got it on Mary Ann's foot - Josephine's so mean, but I really don't mean it and I love you and Jim is moving and John and Mary - Letasu got some cute shoes and Geoffrey got some cute shoes.  and are you having fun and when are you coming back, I want you to come back quick and don't make me cry - "  unquote

Elizabeth

The envelope is addressed to 

Mr. Frank Wilkerson

Music Dept. - A.P.I.

Auburn, Alabama

That's it - no zip - no numbers - just that.  Simple.

If anyone is up for it - there's one more from me and one more from Mother - 

again - dictated by me and Mother writes it.

Dear Daddy,

We went swimming today Monday afternoon - we had such a good supper.  We drinked out of whiskey glasses - did you have a good sleep?  I hope you have a good time - Do they have a television there?  Me and Susan are being so happy - Katy is still barking - we ate supper with Ella last night - we had such a good breakfast.  I met Jackie and  Bill, I went swimming with Jackie and Bill down at Binion's - Do they have a swimming pool there?  Do you go swimming if they do?  Suzanne, Rusty, Rachel and Florence went swimming too - I nearly cried last night - Love, Elizabeth

and this from Mother on the other side of the page.

Dear Frank, I won't waste your paper so I'll write on the back of Lib's letter - Isn't she funny?  We went to the pool with Avalon Ellis and her 2 children, that's who she was talking about.  We had a very uneventful time - It's getting too late to go swimming - It's been so cool since yesterday - I hope it's real cool in Auburn.

I feel real upset right now, we've just heard about a wreck that Talmadge Stuart, Connie Rigsby and Sandra Hagood had - Sandra is Dr. John Hagood's daughter and he had just given her a new ford and Connie was driving and turned over several times - Connie isn't hurt, but Talmadge has serious head injuries and had to be carried to Mobile to a brain specialist and no one has heard yet - It happened late this afternoon - The Hagood girl was hurt, too, but don't know how seriously - I hope so much that it won't be as bad as they think.

We're being brave and staying alone, we don't like it but we aren't afraid at all - The girls were so sad last night, Elizabeth said she didn't think she'd ever go to sleep, but she had no trouble - We ate supper with Mother last night, but we're planning to stay at home and try to be sort of independent - I like it better that way - We miss you so much it's not even funny - I wish it were already over - Write to us real quick - Mary Ann said she just wasn't in the mood to write tonight - 

We all love you, Edith.

I wish that I had a picture of Josephine.  Her name was Josephine Lark - and in the letter I was most definitely teasing Daddy - about her being mean.  She was anything but.  She was magical and was our babysitter from time to time.   I want to write a whole post about her.  

so - Daddy came home from camp - Steve came back to Luke from Arizona.

Luke would ask his mother how many nights they had to go to bed before his daddy came home.  They did a countdown.  

Mother's Birthday

This is supposed to be a quick post. I hope it will be. I can't trust myself.

But....today is September 6 which is the day mother was born, in 1919. I've written that before, but I happen to have a picture of her and Mary Ann and myself, taken on her birthday in 2005. It would be her last birthday on this earth - not to imply that birthdays are celebrated in heaven - because, well, I won't get into that.
I'm grateful that it all happened the way it did - Mary Ann and I thought Mother was beyond traveling to Scottsboro - It's a six hour drive and the previous trips had really seemed too hard on her. We just didn't think she could do it anymore. She was so feeble and there wasthe issue of using a restroom. Most are not suited for older women on walkers - she had to have something that was raised. Plus, Mary Ann having to physically get her in and out of places was too difficult. Well, it was 2005 and Hurricane Katrina was headed for the Gulf Coast. We all know that tragic ending. But we didn't know it yet. Ivan had already taken its toll and did so much damage inland, Evergreen being one of the hardest hit areas which were inland. They were without power many days - roads were closed - etc. So, assuming Katrina would be as bad, family members began moving north and suggested that Mary Ann and Mom do the same. So, they rode with family as far as B'ham, and Charlie and I met them there. Mary Ann and I were so nervous for Mom - but she did great! We couldn't believe it. I had been working at the frame shop only one year. With Mom in town I was able to carefully take her down there and show her around. Moms love seeing what their babies are doing - even if the baby is 54. And of course the baby always wants to boast to the mother - "Look at me! Look what I can do!". Even if the baby is 54. So, that unexpected trip/visit happened on her birthday. They probably travelled on the 5th, but she was here in Scottsboro on the 6th. The following are pictures we took and I bought a tiny cake at Wal-Mart. Also below are pictures of Mother holding Ellie - the only great grandchild she was able to see. The pictures of her and Ellie were not taken during the hurricane trip. I think Ellie was 3 months in the picture - so it was in July before the hurricane. On April 3 of 2006, 2 days before she died, I called to tell her Ann's baby was a boy. She knew that much and was so amazed that any of us would have a boy. She wasn't here to know that her 3rd grandbaby would have red hair like hers and that she would be named Ada after Mother's own grandmother. Well - she's in heaven which is infinitely beyond any grand thing here on earth.

A Random Post

My birthday was Monday. I posted that info already.
On Wednesday Mary, my closest friend in Scottsboro, took me to eat in Huntsville. We've been doing that longer than I can remember. Actually that's not true. I can remember when I didn't know Mary - but we've been taking each other to lunch, celebrating one another's birthday, for such a long time that I don't even remember how it got started. Today we took pictures. We should have been doing it all these years. The one other time I suggested we take pictures, was the day I found out Ann was expecting Ellie. That was over 3 years ago. Almost 4 years. I can't post those right now. Wish I could. I need a scanner. So, here are today's pictures. Also, pictures from Monday when Ellie and Ann came over with a gift and candles for my already cut cake.

Elizabeth and Mary at the restaurant in Huntsville

We both look sleepy. What's that about?

Ellie is actually singing, along with Ann and Kate, Happy Birthday to Near.

Ellie is looking at Kate while she sings.

Ann, Kate, and I all had the "just got out of bed" look, so we avoided the camera.

Here is Ellie blowing out the candles on Near's Cake

Lemon Cheese Cake

Recipe belonging to Edith Wilkerson

found in the Sparta Cookbook or Favorite Recipes of Conecuh County

Cream 1 cup shortening and 2 cups sugar. Add 6 egg whites, one at a time and beat for one full minute after each. Add alternately, 1 cup milk, 3 1/2 cups flour which has been sifted with 2 tsp. baking powder.

Stir in 1 tsp vanilla and 1/2 tsp. almond flavoring. Bake in 350 degree oven for about 30 minutes. Makes 2 layers.

Lemon filling:

8 slightly beaten egg yolks, 1 1/2 cups sugar, 4 Tblsp. butter,

1 tsp. grated lemon peel, 1/3 cup lemon juice

Blend egg yolks with the sugar, lemon peel, juice and butter. Cook over very low heat, stirring constantly, until very thick. Cool thoroughly. When cake has cooled, spread filling between layers.

Fluffy Frosting:

2 egg whites, 1 1/2 cups sugar, 1 tsp. vanilla, 2 tsp. light corn syrup, 1/3 cup water

In top of double boiler, combine the egg whites with sugar, corn syrup; beat well with rotary or electric beater. Place over, but not touching boiling water. Cook about 7 minutes beating constantly until stiff peaks form. Remove from heat; add vanilla and beat 2 minutes more. Frost cake.

This blog is about things I like to remember and my favorite things.

Mother was always a very good cook. She was also a very good seamstress. She took home economics from Mrs. McInnis of Evergreen High School. I guess she graduated from High School in 1937. I did the math. If anyone read my earlier posts, one can remember that I said Mom was a stickler for neatness, order, disciplined care of the homes. Making a bed the right way is something she taught me and I've written about it in that earlier post. I love the fine art of a well made bed. Call me crazy, but I'm glad to admit it. Mother really really enjoyed Mrs. McInnis. When I graduated from high school in 1969, I had the same Mrs. McInnis for Home and Family. Home Economics was still offered, but our culture was already beginning to change. I didn't think I "needed" Home Economics. Big Mistake! In Home and Family we just "talked" about how we would raise a family and live on a budget. It was a fun class and quite the opportunity for "visiting with friends". During my college years, between semesters, I took some sewing lessons, but I've never been able to sew like my Mom. Shopping for clothes, for Mary Ann and me, meant going to a fabric store. It took me a long time, as a single adult female, to learn how to shop for ready made clothes. I still am not very good at it. And Mom's not here to sew for me. My grandmother could sew and my great grandmother, Ada, could sew. I guess every female learned that. Well, my grandmother in Troy wasn't a seamstress or a cook. Probably someone made her clothes for her or she bought them at Rosenberg's in Troy, Alabama - and I remember her cook and maid, Willie. I loved Willie. More about that later.

Back to Mom and Mrs. McInnis. One of her school assignments was to prepare a meal at home, with a properly set table. The student had her night to do that in her home, and Mrs. McInnis would come in and grade her. She came into the female student's home and "checked it all out". I don't know if everyone did that, or if it was for extra credit. Mom did it. I do remember her telling me about it. She loved it. I would have been so nervous.

A properly set table. It's like a well made bed. Not that I do either of those all of the time. But I really, really like both of those disciplines. They each are a pleasure mark in our crazy world.

So, the above recipe:

Mom did some cooking for people, for pay. One of her specialties was the Lemon Cheese Cake. There is absolutely no cheese in it. I have never known why it was called that.

Mother made this particular cake for so many people. It has her signature on it, but I am sure she must have gotten it out of a recipe book or a magazine.

So, there we are. End of Post. I've run out of things to talk about.

I like to remember all my birthday meals with Mary, I like to remember Mom and her cooking, I like to remember Mom's stories about her life, and I like to remember my high school days as well......well, most of them.

Thank you, Kate, for making that cake for me.

Thank you, Mary, for the birthday meal.

and Thank you, God, for all the dear people You've blessed me with.

Mother

Mother with my oldest daughter, Ann, who is pregnant with Mother's first Great Grandchild. That was December, 2004

Mom in 2005 - probably 85 or 86

I like to remember the people in my past. Of course I think of my mother almost daily. Mother was born September 6, 1919 and died April 5, 2006. She was 86, soon to be 87. She was Edith Nelson Northcutt Wilkerson. She married Daddy(Frank Godsey Wilkerson) August 3, 1947. Daddy died August 8, 1993.

Mom, of course, taught me a lifetime of lessons, and as I blog I expect that I will often talk about the things she taught me on a daily basis. As is so often the case, I didn't even know I was learning so much until I was well into my adult life. Mom was of that WWII generation. They understood the power and the value of daily disciplines. I am a baby boomer, so who knows what we have passed on to our children. Time will tell. I think it's been talked about, what we are passing on, but I'm of the opinion that most of us will have to be 80 plus, or into eternity, before the culture knows for sure.

Below is a youthful picture of Mom. I don't have a scanner, so I had to take a picture of a picture. Hence, the fuzziness of it. Below that picture are a few things that remind me so much of her. I have so many things. The plaid dishes are some that I have reordered off of Ebay. Mom received a complete set of those as a wedding gift in 1947. They came from an upscale gift shop in Troy, AL, a gift from my Dad's brother and his wife. Over the years the pieces were broken and eventually there was none left. When I learned how to use a computer, these dishes were some of the first things I found on the search engine. I began to order a few pieces at a time and have built up my collection. They are Organdie Plaid, by Vernonware. There's a juicer, and a blue vase, a glass vase, and a photo which is hanging in my kitchen. In the photo is Mother, my sister in the middle, a friend in the foreground, and I am on the right. We are in the kitchen and Mother is on the phone, smiling. I'm guessing Daddy was photographing the scene, and she is looking back at us, smiling. I've always loved that picture, even as a little girl. It was such a typical slice of our life.

Mother was blessed with a heart to love God. She pointed us toward Him. She also was blessed with a strong, yet gentle character. Here's the thing....we were all very typical. We were real people, imperfect. There was always tolerance for mistakes, irritations, but there was just such a safe feeling. Also, we laughed so very much. Lots of laughter. I inherited from Mom overactive tear ducts when laughing. Her eyes watered, my eyes water. We loved to laugh. Mom was one of 4 sisters. They all stayed in the same South Alabama town, along with my grandparents, and I grew up with 10 cousins, plus my sister. There were 12 cousins. As cousins we felt more like siblings. It was a delightful existence.

Now I am going to end today's rather serious blog, which was unintentional, the sober nature of it, with a verse which I found when I was about 25. I believe that most everyone can feel what it is saying.

Thanksgiving in the Nursery

Oh, for an hour in that dear place!

Oh, for the peace of that dear time!

Oh, for that childish trust sublime!

Oh, for a glimpse of Mother's face!