Thursday, October 1, 2009

First Day of October

October means Fall - Pumpkins - Leaves turn - Warm - Cozy -

In my life it also means wedding month.

Charlie and I married on October 27, 1979. This year it will have been 30 years.

So - I picked songs that remind me of him and us and me and when we were dating.

I was 28, he was 26. We were single, working, living in Birmingham. Didn't feel so green behind the ears anymore - we both "felt 'out on our own' ". There was music on the radio and there were lyrics about falling in love. I tried to find some of those that reminded me of when we were dating - Boz Scaggs was really popular at the time and if I hear his music on oldie stations it reminds me of dating Charlie - I have a hard time remembering titles and artists - so there's one song in particular that I can't remember and can't find - maybe I'll find it later.

I don't like to post any harsh music - mostly easy listening and I doubt anyone hangs around on this blog long enough to listen to all my songs - but there's one in the middle of my playlist - words and music are a bit hard and anyone would think they don't suit my personality - that's because you don't really know me that well - sadly Charlie has found out over the years I can be a bit hard to "live with". When the soundtrack for "What Women Want" came out he and I were listening to it(I'd bought it) and the song, well, I hate to spell out the title, it isn't a nice sound at all, the title, by Meredith Brooks was playing. He said it reminded him of me. (He didn't mean that awful title, but the words. He wouldn't have called me that word. It's so derogatory) He was laughing when he said it. awwww. :-( I wonder if most men find that out about their wives - after the weeks and months have passed - and we get really comfortable with each other. Or we get really selfish with each other. Anyway, I had to explain that song - it's not my usual kind of music on here.

The first song, the Kenny Rogers song, reminds me of where we are now. It's been 30 years - I don't really listen to Kenny Rogers - and never did that much - but he does some nice easy listening.

I hope Christ has shaped me and molded me enough to make me nicer. I think it feels like he has. Marriage in the early years for both Charlie and me was a huge shock to our system. Neither of us knew we had to change so much and give so much and adapt to things we had absolutely no interest in. For me it was Football and Hunting. Good grief!! I was going to so many Auburn Football Games! Once I even took a book with me to the game. If anyone knows me at all then you've discovered I'm a talker. Charlie is not that by nature. He's quiet, subdued mostly - (except during an Auburn Football Game!)

I now enjoy Auburn Football. Charlie enjoys our long conversations and is patient with my "stories". We've lived through giving birth to and raising 4 girls. We're about to be done with the college years. We've both lived through my menopause. That's huge and noone warned us about that one. It looks different on everyone and you don't know you're in menopause until it's all over with. So you look back and say, "Oh! that explains all of that".

30 years of living together, going to bed, waking up, doing the daily routine - guiding our girls - making a lot of mistakes - having a lot of successes. Charlie's dad died of Lung Cancer in 89 or 90 - Daddy died after living with Alzheimers for at least 5 years - in 93. Mother died just because it was her time - in 2006 about 3 weeks before Laura Beth married Scott. We've lived through 2 weddings and 4 grandchildren with number 5 due in February.

Praise God that He revealed Himself to each of us before we met and we understood that He was to be Lord of our lives. That's not simple - as we're in this marriage and God working junk out of our lives - and our hearts - well - things can get really sloppy at times - But God is the Redeemer and Savior and Lord.

Charlie is a solid man - with much integrity - we never questioned during any heated fight that we'd ever consider not being married. I never had to doubt him nor did he have to doubt me. I'm grateful for that and we really really really really enjoy having each other at the end of the day. We've never been really ooshy gooshy about each other and our love. We just belong together as long as God has us on this earth.

How did we meet? I reluctantly went on a blind date with him. He was fresh out of law school and his first job was in Scottsboro. A friend had visited him in Scottsboro - she was here on a job related task(she too was graduated from law school) and she learned that single life for Charlie in Scottsboro was, ummm, not really suiting him. He was traveling to Birmingham each weekend to stay with friends. I was working in Birmingham. She pleaded with me to date him and I refused and refused and refused. I hated blind dates. They were always unsuccessful. Finally I agreed. She set it up - he called me. We went out. It wasn't love at first sight. I was feeling weird about the whole thing and just awkward. We found out we had a lot of friends in common, that we'd known all the same people during Auburn and Birmingham. We had lived in the same places at the same time. The first date was enjoyable enough - plenty to talk about - I just was feeling weird because everyone was watching and waiting for us to immediately fall in love. So time went by - we did a few things together - but sparks weren't flying and he just started dating this other girl. I was relieved. Enough of that. But then we were in the same crowd - we knew each other - and with the pressure of dating off of us - well - the chemistry began to happen. He and the other girl weren't really connecting and I was all about getting him back in my court. I did, he did and there are a lot of little stories in between. But the short of it - we met in August of 1978 and married in October of 1979.

Once we knew we were engaged Charlie began to look for a job in Birmingham - he wanted me to keep the job I had - and he had only been out of school for one year and working in Scottsboro for one year. He got a job in the District Attorney's office in B'ham. He was one of many many assistants there in B'ham. We lived and worked in B'ham, married, for one year. 6 months into our being married I got pregnant with Ann. That wasn't planned, but it wasn't unplanned either. It was just, "Oh well." Then Dwight Duke, D.A., began to woo Charlie back to Scottsboro and with my being pregnant and our wanting me to be able to stay at home - well - we came here and have been in Scottsboro since the end of August 1980. The first weekend here was First Monday Sunday. I don't think Art in the Park had begun then, but it was a big First Monday Sunday and we were on the square - with my parents who had helped us move - We lived in Goosepond Apartments.

That's how we began life in Scottsboro. Our first anniversary I was 6 months pregnant. Crazy. Charlie bought me roses and we grilled steaks on the little deck thing of our apartment. We ended up burning them because we were standing inside the sliding glass doors and started kissing a lot. :-) Then we remembered the steaks and they were on fire. Those kinds of things really make Charlie mad - he loves a good steak - so he went from lovey dovey kiss, kiss, kiss, to "I'm SO MAD ABOUT THIS"! I had to calm him down and convince him it wasn't the end of the world. They were charred, but who cared. I was pregnant and we were in love. Yay! You can't beat that.

I gotta close - lots and lots of stories. 30 years of stories. Good and Bad. It's life.

1 comment:

LB said...

I loved reading this!! So fun. (except this kissing part--ha, ha) And I didn't realize you were 6 months pregnant on your first anniversary. So was I on our first anniversary. I think we had different reactions, though:)