Saturday, August 15, 2009

On this August Saturday.....

I don't think I'm going to continue in my memorabilia of Mother and Daddy's wedding anniversary. I did find the letters and began to post some - but there were so many and I just needed to do excerpts - plus - I couldn't imagine that when Daddy wrote those, knowing Daddy, he could ever have dreamed they might be in cyberspace. Time just continued to go by and here it is August 15 and it feels like the end of summer.

Sarah and Kate are both now back at Auburn. We had a wonderful summer with them here. All 4 of us "adults" had moved into the summer with a bit of apprehension. None of us are accustomed to living in the same "dwelling" anymore, for any length of time. But we did it and it worked out. It more than worked out and we had a pleasant time of it. I think that as we moved toward the time they would return to Auburn, we were all feeling the readiness of it. Still, as glad as I am of their "living" situations down there, and as much as I know they are content where they are, and as glad as I am to have my "spot" on the couch back again - well - I feel a little sad today. I can't see their faces when I want to. I guess that's it. I still think of Ann, Kate, & Sarah as blondes with blonde faces, and I still think of Laura Beth as redheaded with a redheaded face. Anybody understand that? I'm grateful Ann lives so close - as in....Scottsboro - I musn't take that for granted. Albuquerque was soooo far away - and I do think I handled that well - but now that she's so close well it would be hard to have that distance again - it might happen someday - so I want to enjoy this. Now McDonough, where Laura Beth is, seems far. Atlanta used to seem close compared to New Mexico. It's all relative. Auburn - well - it's south Alabama. I love South Alabama.

I just returned, yesterday, from Evergreen - my dear, faded, not the same, Evergreen. Now my aunt Florence has moved to Tallahassee to be with her children. So - here's what I have - Mary Ann, my sister, is there. My aunt, Mary, and uncle, John Law, are there with my cousin, Melissa, and my cousin, Edward. I have my cousin, Bert, and his wife, Susan living there (in the house where I grew up). Their son, Michael, and his wife, Sharon, are there with their teenaged son, Michael, Jr. Their daughter, Susan Ann, is at Auburn. There used to be so many more - and so many gatherings -

so as I've paused from typing, indulging in a few tears that really aren't so bad but cleansing, I ask Mother, as if she can hear me, to please tell me I needn't fret - that it's all just a continuation - only better - in eternity - and that it really is just a matter of a brief bit of time - and I can see her again - and Daddy - and the other family members whom I have the assurance of seeing. Most of them. Really. I want to see them all.

Isn't God's grace and salvation beyond words to describe - the riches that not only can we have eternal life - but a life here on earth empowered by Him. and a blessed life, no matter what the circumstances are. Is there anything to do but give our life to Him - living in Him - and passionately for Him - surrendered, dependent on Him - leaning, leaning, and hoping to look like Him - trusting Him to make us sanctified, set apart for His glory. How can we live any other way? What else matters - so that when all the things on this earth that we hold so dear, when those dissolve and sift through our fingers - He's there - He's always there - never absent - ahhh ... blessed leaning. There is a bit of grief and there is a lot of grief at times - yet - His everlasting arms -

I'm not one who is at home with melancholy. I have a sanguine nature and a laughing nature. It fits me better - so - I had some good laughs with Mary Ann in Evergreen - We get so tickled about the worst things, and the best things, and the things in between. Mother did too.

Mary Ann and I were in CVS on Thursday and were behind someone who was checking out. The attractive female customer was enjoying some fun banter with the clerk regarding the piped in music and she was doing a little dancing to it while the clerk said, in her South Alabama, African-American dialect, which is music to my ears, that the music was the thing that got her through her work day. I laughed loud enough to get included in their banter when the lady who was dancing did a doubletake when she saw me. She said, "Elizabeth Wilkerson?" She hadn't seen Mary Ann who was standing off the to side - we all 3 paused in a moment of effort for me to gain some recognition of her identity. I couldn't do it. I couldn't see a known face in the attractive, albeit 59 year old face. I know because I'm 58. She spoke out boldly with a huge grin, "Melva Brown!" I gasped and said O My Gosh and we hugged. I hadn't seen her since she was 18, a senior and probably in her cute little all green cheerleader uniform - or just a cute school dress from the late sixties. She lives in Houston, Texas and is really Melva Kelly - but when we go to Evergreen we drop our married names around old friends so we have some hope of idenity with folks. She did, though, marry someone from Evergreen whom my cousin Scott graduated with - Byron Kelly and he is from a large family there in E'green - a lot of Kelly's. It was so much fun and there was only one customer who was having to be reassured by me that I would hurry through my purchase and not keep her waiting during this "class reunion".

Melva was a grade ahead of me and her sister, Barbie, was in my class. So I actually was more acquainted with Barbie - but we all knew each other because each graduating class averaged about 60. We were all big fish in a little pond - very little pond. a puddle. It was fun. Due to the human condition I have to acknowledge that in that little pond, the pecking order deemed some to be little fish - which I hate - because noone really is little ... everyone matters ... but there is suffering in social structures - isn't there. Here I go again... getting melancholy.... Let me move on. It's Saturday. I'm home. Fall is around the corner. August is drying up my green stuff - but we do have mostly green, still. The edges of the hydrangea leaves are a bit burned, some of them. There's a dry scent - but it's still August and I'm still calling it summer. I'm going to savor every last day - and then will enjoy the fall. I do love Fall so much - who doesn't? I think Fall is the grace of God - He used those wonderful colors and those wonderful scents as we let go of the green and color and freedom of summer. Fall makes it easier for me to let go of summer.

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