Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Day 2, Afternoon at the Beach

I didn't get to a laptop this morning.

I could have, but one thing led to another and as I had my coffee and finished the book I was reading, I got into a long discussion with Kate. Charlie and Sarah had left to run. (Kate prefers to run alone, which she did yesterday - I prefer to have coffee - :-)

It's that beautiful time of day at the beach - easy afternoon - sun not quite as harsh, but still there. Not sunset which is it's own beautiful time - I enjoy sitting out there for the duration - falling asleep until the guy has to wake me, saying he's taking up his cushions. I've done that. But tonight we're grilling snapper - so I needed to come in and clean veggies - we're also grilling veggies. Charlie, Kate, and I will work together to get it done - and Charlie would probably do most of it, but I will help.

The book I finished, I began yesterday. I actually grabbed two of Sarah's books to bring with me - supposedly to get me through the week - but I started the first one as we left Scottsboro and finished it before we got to Orange Beach. I began this second one yesterday morning and completed it this morning. They are good reads. The first one, SUZANNE'S DIARY TO NICHOLAS is a great love story. It's just a great story - and the second one is STILL ALICE which is very well written and is about a 50 year old woman who has Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. You know that EOAD is in a league all by itself. I am the child of one who had really really really severe and crippling Alzheimer's Disease - which makes me and my sister candidates. But Daddy, whom we knew had SOMETHING by age 75, died with the disease at age 80. People would say, but he's so healthy - he'd be fine if he didn't have Alzheimer's Disease. Mother would say that. To me that's like saying, "he'd be fine if he didn't have cancer!". His brain, any Alzheimer's Diseased person's brain, is diseased. And the brain affects all parts of the body. It's not a bacteria and it's not a virus - but it's a severe deterioration and atrohy of the brain. It's not the worst thing to have and it's not the best thing to have. It's just something that people have in this fallen world. Everybody has something. Anyway - I can talk Alzheimer's Disease. But......and a big parents didn't have it before the age of 65. Having it before the age of 65 is EOAD and is really tough - unfortunate - having anything before the age of 65 is unfortunate - from our human perspective. I wouldn't choose that - but Hudson Taylor said, "God is the Great Circumstance of Life". I love that. Whatever we have, in the hands of God, is there by His permission.

Okay - but back to today. I am at the beach and my brain certainly isn't as clear as it used to be. Helloooooo!!!! Whose isn't. It doesn't worry me at this point. I'm not sure it ever will. But anyway - here we are - enjoying this comfortable and clean condominium and the beautiful sand and sun. I did get in the water - I've always LOVED the Gulf Water - but in the past few years, besides my aged bod, the jelly fish have been bad - So - today the water was clear - and in I went - telling myself not to worry about the shape of me. There aren't many who are in mint condition. I love the salt water, I love the sand, I love the sun, I love the sounds. Very cleansing and healing.

I think that I remember my first sight of the gulf water. Or perhaps I remember the first time I'm able to remember. Because my parents were taking me to the beach when I was still in "cloth" diapers. We have pictures. They referred to it as "down yonder" and I have no idea where it was. But we have pictures. But the first time it's recorded in my brain - I was 3. We went with a family down the street - the Smalls. I know I was 3 because on that beach trip Mother was pregnant with baby #3 and it was on that trip that she told Katherine Small that she hadn't felt the baby move in a while. Mother was 5 months pregnant and it was on my 3rd birthday that she was in the hospital, having miscarried. She didn't tell me that story when I was 3. She told me when I was much older - maybe teen years. Anyway - I can recall - being close to my parents and approaching the gulf and the waves. It all seemed impossible and beyond anything that I imagined could be survived. I wasn't particularly scared because I had no idea that I would actually get in that water - those waves - I didn't even know that they were waves. I didn't know what the phenomenon was - but there it was and I felt it unapproachable. I only remember that moment and that impression and wondering how anyone could touch it and live. That's all I remember.

I do remember visiting Mother in the hospital - having no idea that she had lost a baby. I don't even recall knowing about the possibility of a new sibling. I just remember visiting her and thinking how lucky she was because someone was bringing her a "Coca Cola". I can still see the straw in the glass bottle. and feel where I was standing in the room. I also remember the day we took her home from the hospital. I still had no idea why she'd been there and feeling no need to ask. I remember going with whomever to pick her up and being in the back seat of the car as we all got in to go home. I felt covered up with flowers from the florist - and I remember there was a can of Almond Rocha Candy. I was allowed to have a piece and felt it was the best thing ever. I can now find that candy at Target and will buy it all along. I love it.

So - from beach to Alzheimer's Disease to Mother's miscarriage -hmmmm. Not much of a flow.

I need to get up and help with the meal. Already Charlie and Kate are doing all the work. I need to do something.

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