One of the books on my list for her to read was, is The Shaping of a Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliott. I don't think I mentioned that one to her - pretty sure she hadn't read it. Honestly, I thought I better read it again before I recommended it. I had read it once, when my girls were still at home - still being shaped predominantly by parents - but before any of the teen years. I loved the book. LOVED IT. It has all the elements that I like in a book - a sort of biography of her parents and siblings - and autibiography -her life as a child and teen. It is a "very good read". It is about a culture at least 1 and 2 generations before me. It is about a simpler time, more disciplines, more order, more balance than it seems we have now. It has a few pictures - but not enough for me. As I reread it, I kept my finger in the spot where the pictures were, so I could see images of who and what she was writing about. I love the book even more, now that I've read it a second time. I finished it Saturday night, and Sunday morning ordered 4 hardback copies off of Amazon.com, for my 4 daughters. Kate laughed so hard when I told her. She wasn't surprised that I immediately ordered 4 copies.
The regret I have is that I only read it once when my girls were still "under our roof". I wish I had read it at least once a year as a reminder of the course I was on. I wish I had read it more often than that. It's not the bible - but it is a great handbook, a great inspiration, a raising of the bar far higher than this culture expects. And it makes me want to get in God's Word - A LOT -
Any book that instills hunger for God's word more than reading the book I'm actually reading - well - that's a good book -
So, I read it - and recommend it to everyone. I wish I had read it during my girls' Junior High years and the High School years. I regret that as a parent I veered off course during those years. I bought into some of the junk this world was peddling for children between 12 and 18. I didn't think I was doing that - but I was. I bought into compromise and stupidity - Sad. But God's grace is always amazing - isn't it? He protected my girls and they love Him.
Another reason I wish I had read it A LOT - well, as a human being I have a temper that goes off like a gun shot. A loud gun shot. Sometimes like a cannon. Even I, myself, don't always see it coming. I'll be fine - I'm being nice - I'm using a calm approach - and BOOM! I lose it. But this doesn't happen with anyone except those in my immediate family. It's a weird thing. It happened when I was a child occasionally - but not so much until I was college age. (Mom and I discussed it once and wondered why I began to have angry outbursts - beyond the obvious - sin - but why all of a sudden that sin?) Once I married and had children - that sin was then toward my present immediate family - husband and children. Naturally, now that "people" have moved out of the house - married and college - it doesn't happen so much - Anyway, it's my worst thing - loud anger toward the ones I love the most. I hate it - and always confessed it before God - to God - agreed with God - but that particular part of my flesh still shows its ugly self. Anyway, reading this book - well the sentence is written by E. Elliott, "We never heard our parents raise their voices to each other". UGH. I hate reading that. I've heard people say that. I know it's true - but inside I crumble into a slump. I wish so badly my children could say they never heard us raise our voices, but they can't. Charlie isn't a fighter, but if I provoke long and hard enough, well, he can fight - sad.
Anyway, the two previous paragraphs reveal my 2 biggest parenting regrets. I'm sure my children can name many more regrets I should have. I do have others. Those are just the 2 biggest, biggest regrets. God grant them - God grant you, girls - the grace to forgive me.
I told Laura Beth I am sending it to her - but not to let it overwhelm her - and I say it to anyone out there - read it - but don't let it overwhelm - if we have any bent toward legalism or efforts to attempt character change apart from the grace of God - well - read with caution. God is sovereign - we are all where we are under His sovereign hand. He convicts, he brings us to repentance, He redeems, He cleanses, He fills, He does the work in us. I look at it this way. Have you ever restored a piece of furniture? - taken the paint off - sanded? Do you recall that there are spots of paint, so stubborn, and you have had to really bare down with hand and thumb, to sand out that spot? Even after applying that strong solution of paint remover. It would seem that some of us have certain character flaws, certain tendencies toward sin, certain embedded old flesh habits - we continue to confess, repent, and trust that God can do the work to change us. He can - but some sins are so stubborn!
So, the book is THE SHAPING OF A CHRISTIAN FAMILY by Elisabeth Elliott
It has renewed my vision - my calling - as a mother - a grandmother. It has reminded me of the urgency of consistent prayer for all my girls, their husbands, their children. I know it, but I need to be told by older women. Elisabeth Elliott is that person for me. Mom introduced me to her. Mom was her fan - huge fan. She was mom's hero. She's mine. I met her once and nearly shook her hand off, before I walked away. I'm afraid I have somewhat of a goofy personality - oftentimes walk away from a crowd feeling as if I was too loud, too silly - just too loud. She was my hero, I was nervous, I met her, and I don't think I ever stopped talking the whole time I shook her hand. She never had a chance to speak. Oh well.
I think that is all I have to say about that.
Laura Beth made it through the week without my help. Imagine that(I say, sarcastically - of course she made it without me - but don't we moms think they can't make it without us?) I never sent her the books - because I became buried in the book I was proofing for her.
So, actually, Laura Beth's blog, her pursuits in the budget, were a catalyst toward my reading the book which has renewed my heart.
Well, there are a couple of other things I want to say. One is, that the whole time I've been posting this blog, my dear husband, Charlie, has been vacumming the entire house - up and down. Can ya'll believe that????!!!!!! Isn't that the nicest thing that can happen to someone? I'm going to mop the kitchen as soon as I finish this. And he just let out a yelp! He stumped his toes so very badly. Awwww. Anyway, I hopped up to see about him. He's fine. Back to this.
So - the other things. As a result of the E. Elliott book, naturally I went to hers and Lars Gren's website. Then I googled her Daughter, Valerie and her son in law Walt Shepard. And through one of those places stumbled upon another website. So, I have 4 places to recommend that you go. That actually involves 3 websites - but within those you can move around.
Fascinating stuff. God in the lives of people.
Let me go work with Charlie - he took the day off to be with me.
P.S. I did mop the floor - but as I was preparing to do that, I ran into the corner of my cupboard and let out an "OW!" , for my smarting shoulder. It didn't hurt like Charlie's toe - but he did ask me what happened. I told him, but conceded to him the greater pain. He said in a very dry tone, "We're too old to clean house, we hurt ourselves." I agree - we need help! :-)
I think now we're going to move to the outside - yardwork! yay!
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